Happy Birthday to Me!

Today is my birthday! I am 54 years old now. WOW. I use to think this was old. When I was in elementary school still in the single digits, I use to think about the turn of the century. I couldn't imagine being in my 40's and still be alive to see the year 2000! The changing of the century. I imagined myself as some old white haired, crippled up, retiree in a nursing home! Well, I still have my wits about me, can still drive, enjoy life and laughing at all the absurd things that happen in life.

I didn't wait until today to celebrate my birthday, I have been celebrating ALL month long. First I went back to Orange Park, FL to visit with my daughters Elizabeth and Allison who were on spring break from college. So good to see them. I miss them terribly. I didn't realize they would have to grow up and leave me some day! I wanted them to stay six and four years old forever. They were busy watching the original Power Rangers, Barney, and Disney movies! They loved playing dress up in my sewing scrap leftovers. I have lots of pics of them in all kinds of outfits. My girls have always been so special to me. With my having cancer while they were so young, they never knew anything different. They were always so considerate of me when I had to take naps and wasn't feeling so good. They knew doctor's appointments were a way of life and the word cancer didn't scare them. I was so glad they just accepted it as fact. I didn't want them to constantly worry. While they were in elementary my health was pretty good while in remission and I could participate in all the school activities. I was really blessed that I didn't have to work outside the home and could just be there for them. Now since my transplant they have realized the seriousness of this disease. I try to spend time with them when I can and share all the funny things that happen.

Back at Christmas of 2008 right after the summer of the bone marrow transplant I still needed the wheelchair to get around. I hadn't been to the mall in months and wanted to shop a little. My husband drove Allison and me to the mall with the wheelchair. I put on my mask I was required to wear and Allison was to be my designated "pusher". Pushing a chair should require at least one lesson before doing this. She was quite willing to push, but just hadn't had any practice. She did pretty good in the wide open spaces but when in the department stores in and around the clothes racks I was pushed into everything! I pulled over purse displays, knocked the glass displays in the jewelry department and of course we bumped into people. After doing some of my shopping I suggested she just park me in the middle of the mall outside one of the stores she wanted to go in. She was very hesitant and at first refused. I said "Allison, I'll be alright. Just park me by the benches and I'll rest and just watch the people. Take as long as you like." She agreed and reluctantly went into her teen store. When she came out I asked her why she didn't want to leave me. She paused a minute and then admitted that it felt like she was leaving a dog tied up outside to wait! I laughed pretty hard at that one.

I miss my girls, but I try to remember what I was like at 20 and 18. When I remember that I worked a full time job and was married at 20, I relax a little and know that they are really smart and they'll be okay.

I just got back from the second part of my birthday celebration. I went to see my sister Susie in Auburn, AL. Although I can't walk very far and get tired easily, I can still do road trips! Since I'm sitting on my butt instead of standing on my numb legs and feet, I can do pretty good with the driving. I've always loved traveling. Even in my twenties when I couldn't get anyone to travel with me, I didn't let it stop me. I'd pack up my VW and the ice chest rode shotgun! What fun. Susie was doing great. It had been just over a year since I'd seen her. She could tell how much I'd improved. I could get around a lot better and my eyes weren't light sensitive like last year. Previously she had to keep the blinds closed and lights low. My brother Scott and his wife Connie had driven me over there on their way to Birmingham and picked me up on their way back. This time was different. I couldn't walk far but we did get to go over to Chewacla State Park and drive to the top of the mountain. (I use this term mountain loosely as it's not really very big.) We got out on top and enjoyed the view and fresh air! We couldn't hike the trails but I still enjoyed being there. With such a cold winter this year everything was still bare and not much color. But there is nothing to compare to that earthy, woodsy smell! and I have missed that bunches.

After leaving Auburn and heading back, I missed the turnoff to Columbus, Ga. I crossed the Chattahoochee River and came into Georgia and found myself heading to Atlanta and knew I had messed up. Somehow I had missed the turnoff. I checked the map and saw that I wasn't too far from Warm Springs. President Roosevelt's Little White House was there and I had always wanted to visit this. I found my way to Warm Springs and visited the healing pools where FDR had been. It was so inspiring to see all the pictures of him and the children doing therapy in the water. I was using my walker while touring this museum and I could really relate to all those who needed this healing water. The Little White House is a couple of miles away and FDR would use a stage coach to travel back and forth. They had a great museum there and also motor scooters for people like me who couldn't walk the distance. This was great fun. I went everywhere that scooter would take me. I did have to walk through the house though. It was maybe only 1000 sq ft. It was very simple and I saw the twin bed that he died in. His own bedroom, maybe 10 x10, then his bathroom was next to it. I couldn't help but laugh at the bath. The curator said that everything in the house was left as it was when he died and he wasn't exaggerating. Even the toilet paper from April 12, 1945 was still there! They had a clear Lucite case built on the wall around this roll of really old brown toilet paper! I thought of all things historical, we might have done without this.

I'm going to finish the month off with enjoying a birthday cake and spending time with my brother David and my parents. I do have an appointment down at Shands in Gainesville March 30th, but that's a week away. I'll deal with it then!